We came across many hearsay about what wedding couples should do and not do within the three months of their wedding. In these modern times, it is really up to the couples whether they want to follow the customs and observe the traditions, or go accordingly to their own wishes and beliefs.
Of course, everyone wants to enjoy a perfect wedding with blessings from the parents and the grandparents. Thus wedding couples are encouraged to seek opinions from their elders, and consult them for advices in regards to the traditional customs a.k.a. pantangs.
In this entry, we have listed some of the common wedding taboos for your considerations.
Wedding Taboos that the Bride and Groom should observe
1. Clash of Luck
To avoid clashing of luck, for three months before and after their wedding, the bride and groom will not attend a funeral or wake; attend a wedding; visit a lady who is in confinement.
2. Death of one parent
If one of the parents passes away, the bride or groom has to be in mourning. Should a wedding be conducted, it must be done within 100 days of the death, or postponed till 3 years (1000 days) after the death.
3. Bridal Bed
It is preferred that no one sleeps or sits on the bridal bed after its installation and blessing for fertility. If however, the groom needs to sleep on it before the wedding he should be accompanied by a young boy preferably born in the year of the Dragon. To leave one side of the bridal bed empty is considered a curse on the health of the couple.
4. Clash of Brides
If the bride meets another bride on the wedding day their luck may clash. The matchmakers or the bestmen from the two bridal parties will exchange red packets on the couple’s behalf to neutralize the effect of the clash.
Other not so taboo Wedding Taboos
1. Meeting one day before wedding
Chinese believed that the bride and groom should not meet each other the day before the wedding. However, this taboo is no longer strictly observed. A modified manner; the bride and groom will not sleep under the same roof the night before the wedding.
2. Removing Shoes
Do not take off your shoes until your chinese wedding ceremony is over. The modern custom is to remove the wedding shoes only after returning to the groom's home or bridal home after the bride's home visit to her parent's home.
3. Taking care of Roast Pig
If a roast pig is included as part of the bride’s home visit gifts, be careful not to break the ears or tails accidentally. An imperfect roast pig implies that the bride is not a virgin.
4. Use Even Numbers
Even numbers are used for joyous events. All red packets should contain even numbered amounts.
5. Avoid Mourning Colours and Flowers
White, blue, green are mourning colours and should not be used for weddings. Chrysanthemums are for funerals and not to be used for weddings.
6. The First Purchase
It is said that the first partner who buys a new item after the wedding will be the dominant one in the relationship.
Wedding taboos that the Others should observe
1. Clash of Bride's Luck
To avoid clashing with the bride’s luck, everyone in the groom’s home will hide to avoid the bride when the couple enters the groom’s home for the first time. They will return to the living room when the couple has entered the bridal room.
2. Clash of Horoscope
Persons born under horoscopes that clash on the wedding day are not invited as bridesmaids and bestmen, or invited to the wedding day activities. However, they can attend the wedding banquet.
3. Persons in Mourning
Persons in mourning are not to attend any celebrations and entertainment within 100 days of the death as a form of respect for the dead. So they will not attend any wedding celebrations. Mourners engaging in entertainment and social activities such as weddings, birthday parties, festive visiting are considered being disrespectful to the deceased parent.